When planning a life together, most couples naturally focus on love, commitment and the joys of building a future. However, with a significant number of marriages in the U.S. ending in divorce, it’s important to discuss the practical aspects of marriage as well.
A prenuptial agreement (prenup) can help to protect both partners in the event of a divorce. While the idea of a prenup may seem unromantic, approaching it thoughtfully and at the right time can prevent future conflicts.
If you are engaged (or may be soon), how soon should you introduce the topic of a prenup to your future spouse?
Why timing matters
The timing of when to bring up a prenup is critical; bringing it up too late can create tension, as it may appear as though one partner is suddenly questioning the relationship. Conversely, introducing it too early might feel premature if the relationship hasn’t reached a stage where long-term financial planning is a natural topic of conversation. Striking a balance is key.
A good rule of thumb is to raise the subject once your relationship is headed toward serious long-term commitment. This often happens when couples begin discussing their future together, including marriage, cohabitation or finances. Once you’re confident that your relationship is on a path to marriage, it’s an appropriate time to bring up a prenuptial agreement.
Before engagement or after?
One common question is whether it’s better to introduce a prenup before or after getting engaged. Ideally, it’s best to discuss a prenup early—before the engagement. While this may seem counterintuitive, addressing the topic before formalizing the engagement allows both parties to have an open, pressure-free conversation about their expectations for the future. It’s easier to talk about practical matters before the excitement of wedding planning takes over and emotions run high.
Once you’re engaged, it’s important not to delay the discussion. Addressing a prenup well before the wedding helps ensure ample time for both partners to review the terms carefully. Rushing the process close to the wedding date can lead to unnecessary stress or pressure on one partner to agree to terms they are uncomfortable with.
There’s no one-size-fits-all answer to how soon you should introduce the idea of a prenup to your future spouse, but the key is to do so with sensitivity and transparency. Bringing up the conversation early in your engagement or even before it can lead to a productive dialogue that can potentially strengthen your relationship. By approaching the topic openly and seeking legal support, you can set the foundation for a marriage built on trust, security and mutual respect.